WTCF! Too many gadgets.

Okay, here I am again asking, “What the Cat Fur?”  This time it concerns electronics.
Daddy had a sign hanging in his office of a good ol’ boy studying his brand new pump handle, scratching his head in confusion.  The caption read, “Living ain’t easy no more, there’s too many gadgets.”
Amen, brother.
I went to Wal-Mart today which was complete insanity on my part because it’s three days before Christmas. All the animals are out of their cages running amuck in aisles of Wally World.  I had to go because my alarm clock broke.  (God forbid I don’t get up in time to join the world in its 8-5 craziness.)   
All I wanted was a nice, little clock, and I found one for $6.00.  Perfect.  I get home and find before I can even read the instructions, I have to unscrew the clock from the cardboard package.  Yes, you heard right.  The clock was screwed to the cardboard with two, tinnie-tinny Phillip-head screws.  (I guess alarm clocks are a hot item this Christmas so they needed to bolt them down.)
What the Cat Fur is that all about? 
How many people happen to have a tinnie-tinny Phillip-head screwdriver in their kitchen drawer?  I’d bet not many.  But surprise!  I did.
I get the clock unscrewed and find out that it’s battery powered, not electric.   
What the Cat Fur? 
How stupid of me to think that in this day and age something doesn’t plug into the wall.  To add insult to injury, the display light only stays on for five seconds when you push the snooze button.  How, may I ask, will I be able to groan and cuss when I roll over to discover it’s only five minutes before the alarm goes off, when the clock’s face is dark as pitch?  This isn’t going to work.  What now?  Let’s see. In my office I have another clock that can be used as an alarm clock and it is electric.  However, sense I’ve lost the instructions and don’t have a degree in rocket science, I can’t set the alarm.
By this time, I’m about ready to pull a Dixie—get my 22 pistol out and shoot all three clocks and the idiots that made them.  All I want is an electric clock that tells regular time with an alarm that can be set with a flip of a switch and that I can see.  But nooooooo!  That would be just too damn simple.
I now have two clocks on my bedroom dresser.  One tells regular time and displays the hours and minutes in bright bold colors, while the other has the alarm set with the battery. 
Don’t know why I bother.  I always wake up before the alarm goes off anyway.
Now, for cell phones.  Oh boy how I love them!  No, I really do.  They come in handy when stranded on the by-pass at midnight with a flat tire.  However . . .  
All I want is a cell phone that I can call out and receive calls on.  I don’t want email, texting, camera, TV, internet, I-tunes, lions, tigers or bears!  Nor do I want to confess my ignorance and ask my twenty-year old co-worker how to answer the damn thing.
Technology is a wonderful thing, but I can’t help but wonder how the Cat Fur we got along so well without a cell phone stuck to our ear?  And texting?  Lord, don’t even get me started!
Well, it’s time for bed, so I’m going to set all my clocks, charge up my cell phone and crawl under the covers. 
At least I don’t need PhD in Electronics for that!
P.S.  My twenty-year old co-worker read this last night and had pity on me.  This morning when I got into work “Santa” had left an electric alarm clock on my desk for me.  Ya gotta love those cute, young men!
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4 Responses to WTCF! Too many gadgets.

  1. Jan Morrill says:

    But I wouldn't be able to comment on your hilarious blog without Internet and text ability on my cell phone! 🙂 Sweet dreams, Dixie!

  2. Patty says:

    What a hoot! I have the same problem. Now, I depend on Apun to wake me in time for events. Talk about low tech. I tell her when I need to get up and she barks at 0230 just like every other day. Once, I'm up to let her outside, I set the kitchen timer.

  3. Greg Camp says:

    Aw, don't you have that cute little screw on your Swiss Army knife? (You do have a Swiss Army knife, don't you?)Any time you want to shoot electronics, let me know. I can provide much greater firepower than a mere .22: This being a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world [not really] and could blow your circuits clean out, you gotta ask yourself, Do I feel sparky? Well, do ya, punk?

  4. Love your blog, so funny. I am really into cool and new gadgets and specially smartphones but you are right about one thing, can't completely trust them, whenever i have something really important i always put another alarm next to bed, just in case…old fashion i guess

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