Ivory soap

Sometimes I get very critical of the way I look. Even though I’m only a little over 21, there are days I feel and look, at least to my mind, like Granny Clampet. When those moods hit, I promise myself to dress more upbeat, make an effort with my hair, and take extra time with my makeup. Yesterday I got my hair cut and decided I would stop wearing knee-high nylons under my slacks.

Maybe it’s old-fashioned, but I like wearing nylons (not pantyhose) but nylons with my shoes even if I’m wearing slacks. I think it looks classy. But I noticed my co-workers don’t. They’re wearing cute sandals with painted toenails flashing and no stockings. Ok. I decided today to join the group and wore my cute, white sandals with the little wedgey heels with no stockings. Holy cow, what a mistake.

First of all, for some unknown reason, my ankles decided to swell. The little cute straps were cutting into my tender, young, ankle skin. Then, the air conditioner was cranked up and my toes got frostbite. When I tried to walk for more than ten steps, I limped like a foundered horse. Enough with this upbeat crap!

I went to the Dollar General and looked for comfortable shoes. I bought ivory pumps. They weren’t anything special. Just sling-backs. But those ivory shoes made my afternoon tons better. Tomorrow I’ll wear them with stockings and my feet will be warm as well.

Mama always used Ivory soap. Swore by it. It makes me itch. Ivory soap’s claim to fame is that you can always find it in the tub because it floats.

One dark and stormy night at Girl Scout camp, we told ghost stories. The most popular one being about, “The Hand.” This guy gets his hand hacked off and he wanders around the woods looking for it. When he finally finds the severed hand, he’s so happy and shouts out, “I found my hand. Need it because Ivory soap floats!” I had no idea what the connection was supposed to be with a cutoff hand and Ivory soap back then or now.

But let me tell you, when you’re nine years old, far from home, rain beating, thunder booming, lightening flashing, living in a tent deep in the dark woods, that story is damn scary!

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  1. rgayer55 says:

    We had sulfur water and would use Zest because it was the only one that didn’t leave a soap film on the water and a ring around the tub. This post made me nostalgic for some of the old commercials.

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